"Destroy the family, you destroy the country."
Vladimir Lenin
What makes nations flourish is the strengthening and empowerment of its families. What makes nations implode (aside from another country invading) are the devaluing and breakdown of the family. Like a greenhouse garden that must be tended daily, the non-material wealth of your family has to also.
Actions speak louder than words, yet thoughts can lead to action. Consider the following thoughts and suggestions for spending quality time with your family that you allow to be enjoyable to you also.
To drum up non-material wealth:
spend time reading 3-4 short stories to your kids every single night.
make up a story to teach your kids something you deem important. Don't be so obvious. For example, I like to create conversation, turn taking stories where characters in my plot discuss, chit chat, have tea, fly on the occasional imaginary helicopter, save the princess, and fly on the white horse Pegasus through the clouds to the mountain family picnic. Before you know it, Pegasus is flying the whole family back to their beds. Good night! I love to have animal characters meet up at river crossings also.
teach them/ yourself to play half chess/ full game chess (tones almost all 30 or so EF skills)
dance 1-3 songs with them or the whole family in your pajamas
sit with your daughter for pretend tea, or real tea and practice having a long conversation that is agreeable. Practice being affable and humorous. Kids like this.
do a Coach Bill-sanctioned executive function skill activity map once a day. Contact me to learn in one videochat session what this is, why it works, and why it will begin working to change the family dynamic, regardless of what you may be going though or your circumstances. www.coachbill.us ($50/30 min)
garden with your family all at the same time
Unfortunately, active and passive anti-family 'top-down' policies are in place in our country that were made by people who probably have no business dictating how to raise a healthy family. A quick macro example can be noted in the recent Planned Parenthood 'Margaret Sanger' award given to House Minority Leader of the U.S. Congress, Nancy Pelosi. Mrs. Sanger, a eugenics promoter, believed that the U.S. government should sterilize anybody that had a temporary disease, was a 'moron,' appeared 'feeble-minded,' or was not of good 'pedigree.'
Sanger continued that the remedy was "to free woman from enforced, enslaved maternity. There can be no hope for the future of civilization, no certainty of racial salvation (what?), until every woman can decide for herself whether she will or will not become a Mother and when and how many children she cares to bring into the world. That is the first step."
This woman's philosophical ideals are entrenched in American society through the legalization of abortion, and was taken up by no other than.... the Nazis, and... Planned Parenthood.
Here is the problem with all this. The ideas that Sanger championed took hold in America and trickled into the cultural views and mindsets of the citizenry. Suddenly, being pro-choice was connected with women's rights. Yet what of the rights of all the woman who were killed without jury upon their birth? Again... what of their rights?
The desensitization of Americans towards killing new family members because it was not the right time for the parent to be parents, or their professional goals and aspirations had not been reached yet, or the bank account was not reflecting a desirable balance all stems from an erroneous thought process that gets its inception from these eugenics ideals. We don't naturally come up with these unnatural ideas. Active and passive messages are sent to human beings that explain the benefits to society if we control birth through contraception, abortion, or sterilization (vaccines, toxic substances in food supply, chemtrails) rather than by raising up our boys and girls to respect and revere what it entails to bring life into the world. The fact that America is still around has more to do with the bulk of American families adhering to a great degree in raising their children with good values, rather than policy and legislation that goes on in our capital, or any super-weaponry.
By legalizing the thought that killing defenseless, human beings is okay, we send a message to our heart and mind about the preciousness of life. We devalue ourselves and our perception of others consequently. Might becomes right. Strong is right, weak is wrong. The creation of a human life valuing continuum immediately retrofits the mind to think and act accordingly.
Do the threads of this wrong paradigm enter into your family dynamic? You don't necessarily have to be aware of abortion, or know it even exists to feel how the trickle down policy effects on America family life. If you are a Mom or a Dad, and are the major breadwinner in the house, do you feel like that entitles you to a more prominent position in importance vis a vis your spouse? Could you do what you do if she was not their to be a Mother to the kids? 'No man is an island.' You both need each other. That is good.
Does elevating oneself at the cost of devaluing the other parent in the eyes of the children send a message that one of the parents can be disregarded? Is now one of the parents being actively disdained by the other in front of the kids? What does this do to the dynamic of the family? This mindset breaks down the family.
Thoughts can be powerful forces, indeed!
It is wholly understandable that in this unbalanced parental valuing system one parent begins to increasingly be resentful of the other. The children pick up on this through different metrics, including their parents:
paraverbal skills (how you say what you say)
parents general role-modeling of their own executive function skills
consistent, genuine displays in front of children of parents cherishing, reverencing, and affectionately loving one another (this one is paramount)
Children are forming their identity largely based on how Mom and Dad act, live, and treat each other. Be it in a relationship of equals, or one where one of the parents is 'the Boss.' Role-modeling lovingkindness, and ordinary courtesy is a national security issue that starts at home and you need not be overwhelmed on how to establish a framework to shift family dynamics at home, even tonight.
Best,
Coach Bill
coachbill.us
@coachbill007
Facebook: Life Skills Corp.
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