Thursday, March 20, 2014

Building up the Family & Non-Material Wealth Tones #ExecutiveFunctionSkills


What is the value of your family's non-material wealth? Does this wealth counteract negative forces placed upon family members? Can it regulate mindsets, instill the right attitude, and give children a feeling of security, love, and sense of belonging?  How can a family grow this kind of wealth? What are the parameters needed to grow, mold and shape the life of the family in order to have non-material, family wealth flowing in on a weekly basis? Since this is an entrepreneurial venture, what are the metrics by which to monitor progress? How does having this kind of wealth benefit the individuals in the family? Is this kind of wealth underrated and a foundational influence on the present American social paradigm? Can harvesting this special wealth on a national level lead to immediate changes in the educational and socio-economic fabric of America?

It is my intention to delve into answers for these questions and sustain the focus upon the idea that a strong family based on sure principles and values is by far the best harbinger of a strong nation. The micro affects the macro just like a system that is allowed introduction into a larger system affects it to some degree on a whole. This is the basis of 'Systems Theory,' one of the pedagogies I integrate in my coaching. 

To begin with, aside from holding a Masters degree in Special Education, I hold a bachelors degree in Political Science, allowing me somewhat of a special, or trained lens by which to understand with a critical eye how macro-actions, such as those instituted in a 'top-down' policy approach by national (and increasingly) international governmental organizations, affect educational policy, educational goals, and people themselves. I believe that the importance of strong, healthy families need to be a bastion of valued, reinforced principles that will make the platforms our kids need in order to excel in their professions one day. This itself is a micro-action which would be a 'down-top' policy measure put forth by empowered families, and would impact the nation as a whole across all social strata.

I believe that this so-called 'non-material family wealth can be harvested like a tree that bears fruit according, but not limited to certain metrics bulleted below:

*the daily valuing of a family that shares meals and conversation together.
*homes with both parents present whom practice daily reciprocal reverencing of each other.
*family homes where Dad and Mom make time to directly play, or share enjoyable time with each child on a daily basis. 
*homes where the television is rarely on and downtime is not consistently spent on technological interface devices as a vehicle for downtime.
* family homes where the growth mindset, rather than the fixed mindset is taught daily, (praise the process, not the end result).
*family homes where parents have an effective, parent-led executive function skills development program.
*family homes where the food supply is free of hormone mimickers, blood pressure deregulators, and excytotoxins, all of which lead to attentional issues, and executive function skill deficits.
*homes where the golden rule of loving and treating others as you would like to be loved and treated is emphasized consistently across time, and modeled by parental action in and outside the family home.
*family homes where parents lead, remind and model an attitude of thanksgiving and gratefulness for the blessings that ARE present in the life of the family. This places a mindset and attitude of gratitude which is the stepping stone to feeling content.
* controversial metric: families that make time to pray.

Adhering to these general metrics can bring about great, positive shifts in a family, leading to peace, forgiveness, contentment, rest, happiness, and joy. Nevertheless, a slew of negative pressures rail against passively and actively against family cohesion.  Some of these 'top-down' negative forces which are devastating the sanctity of family life rotate around the mindset that we are not all created equal. The below two bullets encapsulate this unconstitutional idea that we are actually not all equal. 

*The notion that not all humans are equal, such as those in the womb, or those who are esteemed 'most smart' over others who have not had the same privileges, opportunities, or blood line. 
*The idea of evolution itself, which is still an unproven theory, reinforces that we came from apes, thus that reinforces the eugenics notion (a Hitleresque fancy) that some humans are more super than others, thus more valuable. 

This kind of thinking has no doubt come into play with the devastation that has been brought to the African-American community. Did you know that in Harlem, NY, year after year their happens to be more black babies murdered/aborted than are born? That is astounding! How does this affect a community when you have abortion clinics in higher proliferation in lower socio-economic neighborhoods when compared to higher socio-economic strata neighborhoods. Does this send a strong message to the families within the community about the value of life? How does it shape a child's life if she walks by a Planned Parenthood everyday of her life as she goes to school? Does it desensitize her at some point? If it does, how does this affect all her view of life? How does this affect her family, and perhaps her idea of raising her own family one day?



Many families who agree or are in line with the paradigm that some humans can be killed while in womb, while others should be saved immediately sign up for the mindset that we are not all created equal. Those Harlem babies would most likely grow up in squalor, and eventually end up in jail, right? Maybe that is true, but maybe not. It doesn't matter. Who am I, who is anybody to judge and decide to kill a human being in the womb? That human being did not get a fair trial at all. How would it affect my adherence to the metrics bulleted above? If I were to believe that aborting human beings were a healthy practice that is for the betterment of mankind, would I be okay if my daughter one day group up and chose to abort her baby? Would I have had this 'non-material family wealth' in this kind of situation?  I don't think so. 

This mindset institutes a top-down idea of the value of human life skewing it towards 'might is right,' 'survival of the fittest,' 'dog eat dog,' instead of the ideals our founding Fathers put forth in the founding papers of this country. These ideals, though written by imperfect men, espoused freedom and equality for each American. But is that the paradigm we have now? No, we have a paradigm were special interest money from unethical corporations rule the chambers of congress, seat our purchased paper presidents, and put forth dollars to sway public opinion directly and indirectly through myriad ways. This mindset influences policy makers who in turn legislate these dysfunctional constructs on the populace, according to the interests of powerful non-state actors with deep purses.  

This is how the family unit dies. Slowly, one piece at a time. Here a little, and their a little. 

To bring it closer to home, a lack of eating meals together as a family, a lack of emphasizing healthy principles in a systematic fashion, divorce, un-monitored technology use, and children who do not have Fathers to look up to are more concrete detractors that are easier to see, rather than this 'top-down' force I mentioned above.  I mention technology because of the impact video gaming addictions, 'smart phone' usage obsession, and toxic effects emitted by the radiation and frequencies coming out of ALL phones. I mention Fathers, not implying that they are more important than Mothers, but because Daddy's teach male skills that are healthy for girls and boys to be trained up with. I also mention Father's because their seems to be a problem with Father's not doing or not being able to share and instill key male skills important for rounding out their children, and indirectly, communities. 



This is a generalization which does not apply to all Father's, but the role of 'Father' in America is nowhere near the healthy heights it should be regarded in, and I posit that this singular reality is like a gaping hole that pervades across all socio-economic classes in what we call the American experience. Counteracting these forces requires that parents take ownership over educating their children in proactive ways, while working in harmony with each other. Being able to do that well day in and day out, week after week leads to non-material family wealth. A garden of bedrock values and principles that tie the family together then becomes far better than having material wealth. How so? Well, material wealth can fly away, but because of the investment by Mom and Dad working together to train up the children the family has the power to withstand a variety of negative influences that do have an eroding affect on the tradition of family. This can do more than any amount of material affluence to safeguard families, and have them be a compliment to their community.



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