Friday, December 13, 2013

Can parental self-monitoring lead to more harmonious households?

Do you find that your child tests your authority on a routine basis? Is peace at home eluding the family?
Have you taken the video games away? the toys? used time outs? Is your authority being thwarted? Do you feel like you are not effectively distinguishing unwanted behaviors?

Try all of the following as a set of moving forward parameters:

  1. Emotion-free parental responses at all times that is keenly aware of how you say what you say, (paraverbal skills). 
  2. Following through with punitive and natural consequences.
  3. The family home is not a democracy. Parents sometimes need reminding not to get into controlling situations which diminish the control their children perceive them to have. Don't have the 'back and forth' argument. Act calmly, lovingly, firmly, and methodically. In the long-term your management way will overpower.
  4. Reminding yourself that your kids will act the same way parents treat each other.
  5. In quiet households where parents are conversationally respectful, but their is unwanted rebellious behavior, parents may try being more consistently overt in demonstrating parental love, caring, and appreciation of the other spouse, and vice versa. Make it so that these exchanges are noted.  This shows strong parent unity in perception of children.
  6. Sharing meals as a family together and giving thanks to the Lord.  Three things done: 1. Coming together as a family on a daily basis cuts down on behavioral issues. 2. Giving thanks to the Lord puts everyone in a thanksgiving attitude of gratitude which becomes a family-wide exercise in contentment. 3. Bringing children's focus upon the Creator by giving thanks to Him is a healthy activity.
These six points represent a back-door multi-pronged approach of small measures to modifying your childrens behavior. They key is consistency, which is stick-to-it-iveness. Keep at it and you can modify your child's behavior... and quite possibly reignite your marriage:)

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